A Letter

Dear Investor,

Are your retirement funds flailing? Did the wiles of the market cause your investment downfalls? Or is it because you simply have no savings? If these cases do not apply to you, then congrats miss/mister/them! Carry on with your glorious wealth and stray away from poverty! Otherwise, I entreat you to invest just a little of your valuable time into this article. I might even empty all your sorrows - until you pay your next bills, that is.

But don’t despair! It is times like these where tragedies make fortunes and crises cherish optimism. Be proud, for you’ve probably survived the 2020 stock market crash, 2015-2016 stock market selloff, or even the Financial Crisis of 2007-2008. You’ve won some and lost some! Maybe you’re a “techie” who struck gold in Tesla or found misfortune in SPACs. Maybe you’ve played fluctuations in the market like a fiddle or haplessly gambled on therapeutics companies. Either way, you’re a winner, because - let me tell you - the 2022 season for investing has kicked off with pom-poms at every end!

Inflation may be high and your gas bills may look to the sky, but - don’t you worry - the market for commodities is full of green and joy. If you haven’t invested in crude oil or natural gas, I don’t know what your life’s all about! Quit crying about Putin or looking dreary like our President. It’s time - time to take back the money you’ve lost to the geopolitical state of the world and the disastrous pandemic.

The world’s in a fury, especially for many Americans whose minds were easily shattered by the seemingly endless pitfalls of the stock market’s fluctuations. The bubbly and voguish tech market now contradicts itself, taking investor Cathie Wood to the depths of unpopularity with the furious masses whose visions renew and end at the tip of her words. So don’t be furious. Be a Patrick Henry and wield the anger for the gains of yourself and others. How maddening and glorious it is to see Blackberry drop from $10 a share to $6 a share! Share the anger of those suffering financially, but you must take part in the riches before your chances dwindle away. Buy! Buy! Buy! There is no greed or maliciousness in taking part in the “looting” of a failing stock market. Rather, it is a sign of will and acuity that dominates your financial actions.

Take a look, the stock market’s in for an unprecedented years-long crash that we’ve never seen in ages. Yes, this was supposed to happen a decade ago. Yes, it will be infinitely worse than any other crash we’ve ever seen in the 21st century. And yes, it is a tragedy where opportunity awaits for those who are willing to take it. So start investing, start buying, and stop panicking! Just please don’t sell a stock at a loss.

Sincerely,

A Pragmatic Investor